Tuesday, April 21, 2009

LELONG LELONG!!!

Welll.. Recently Jowin asked me to help 'spread da word' about smt he's selling. & bein da gud and helpful guy dat I am, I decided to juz post it up ere. Not dat it would lyk boost up his sales or anythin but weell.. Da thought counts rite??

Anyway.. So da 'product' Jowin is selling is actually Umobile. Not da company of coz. U noe wat i mean.. Ya I noe.. It's kinda lame but hey! Whatever makes him happy. So dis Umobile plan according to Big Jo is specialy for couples coz u get to talk and video call and all dat crap for free or smt lyk dat FOR 50 bucks permonth & it's postpaid. So kids.. U can let mommy and daddy pay da bill for u. And also da 50 bucks is fixed but let's say u only used up 30 so da 20 will be added into next month's bill and u'd hav 70 bucks da next month.. dis could only laz for 3 month s or so.. Im not really sure..

"For more enquiries pls call 0173897499 and ask fo Jowin Guru.... I think his laz name is Muthusammy but Im not really sure."



Sunday, April 19, 2009

Still alive...


Wazzzzzuuuuuuup?? Hahaha.. Sorry... Got carried away! So how u doin? Me? I'm great!! Wellll.. Not really but yeah... This post is DEDICATED to those who are constantly nagging at me to start posting again especially Yasmeen and <3.. So u guys betta appreciate dis.

So... Life is...... OK.. Juz OK.. I mean.. Watchu want me to say? At least I'm not depressed and all rite? SIGH.. Ok.. Ok.. Fine.. It wuz hard ok? We're still REALLY tight and all but still.... SIGH.. But I'm really grateful dat she actually is still bein so 'NICE' to me & welll.. Hahahaha.. We're aite. I believe I could patch it up wit HER again 1 day. I really do. So wish me all the best! ;-) See.. i still can laugh And most of all, I wanna thank GOD for everythin. Altho I hav to say he really hav a sick sense of humour which leaves u laughin lyk crazy at da end of da day but all in all, it's bcoz of God that I was able to get out of depression mode and actually start LIVING again. And also... I wanna thank God for ma results coz i totally screwed up ma finals and lots of ma frens failed but i still manage to get distinction somehow. So ya... All glory to da BIG MAN UP THERE.. Anyways... If u really wanna hear me say it dat bad FINE.. I'll say it..


I'M FINE!!!!! =)






Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dear Lai Shen-Ly,

I don't really know how to tell you this, I’m in love with your cat. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub in your car and I saw you knock out the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that i get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and you should stop picking your nose.

Go milk a cow,
Ian.




Here's how you do it:

Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.
You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – My ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Bitchy
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself.


P/S I did dis on fb too.. XD Can't help maself.. It's too hilarious.. Hahahaha..